We Pick Up the Pieces

The mind is a window through which we view the world.

There are varying views on what the mind is. Is it just the brain and electricity? Is it something more difficult to understand, like a soul? Perhaps a combination of the two? One thing that is largely agreed upon is this. It is who we are.

As we go through life, we are almost constantly beset by things that stress us out. That impact who we are in some way. Most of the time, it is a passing thing, a small stress that comes and goes, leaving no large mark on us. This happens to windows too. Of course, a window doesn't have the same stresses we, as people, do. It does have them though in the form of nature. Rocks, pebbles, hail, rain, wind. Negligible stresses that come and go, leaving no large mark.

As time goes by however, we come to have more experiences. More happens to us in our lives, things that are not always good. These things hurt on more than a physical or even mental level, and come in all different forms. A family member or a friend may die. You discover someone has told you a very hurtful and damaging lie. A long held belief is proven wrong. We come to regret a past action. They leave marks, cracks in our minds.

Cracks form in windows when something hits them hard enough. Not enough to break, but to leave a crack that weakens its structure. Big storms come and large chunks of hail fall and hit. Fierce, powerful gales of wind slam into it. Something is thrown at it. These cracks weaken the window, making the next hit, that much more damaging.

This is something that happens throughout our lives, many times, and every time it hurts. Every time with look back at it, we're reminded of that pain. Every time we look at the crack in the window, we're reminded of how it happened.

Hemingway wrote, "The world breaks everyone." It's sad, but it's true. As the cracks accumulate, the window weakens, and finally, something happens, and it breaks. They break differently every time, no one exactly like another. Sometimes they break into a small number of large pieces, and it's easy to put them next to each other and see how it went together. Other times, it shatters and becomes nothing more than shards of glass.

You're broken. You feel as though your life has fallen apart, and you sink to your knees, and you cry over what remains of your life. You can do two things. You can crawl onto this bed of glass, the pieces digging into you, a constant reminder of what you've lost. Or, you can take a deep breath, spread the pieces out so you can see them all, and you pick up a piece and start trying to put yourself back together.

It isn't easy, and you'll cut your fingers many times before you're done. It can take a very long time, especially alone. It gets frustrating. You spend so long trying to find all the pieces that fit, but there's so many... You get angry. You haven't gotten far at all and already you've spent so much time trying. You scream and curse until you pass out.

When you wake you are calmer. You look at what you've done so far and how much is left to do, and you ask for help. And it comes, in the form of friends and family, even complete strangers. And they smile at you and tell you, "We'll get it done together." You have help now, and things go quicker, and after a time you place the final piece.

A sigh of relief. You prop the window back up and look at it. Another sigh, this time though it is one of disappointment. It's ugly. It's got all these cracks now, fragmenting what you see beyond it. It's different now, and it will never be the same, and you know that. You can never go back to being the person you were before. So you take a deep breath and approach the window and try to look through. With all the cracks though, you have to look through the separate pieces to see anything clearly, so you do.

You look through a small piece, at a small part of what lies beyond, and you see something you hadn't before. Where before you just looked at the world world through a large window, you now are looking out a small one. The view is more focused on a specific area of the world, and you're able to see it much better. You move on to another piece and spot more things you hadn't noticed before. You continue doing this, you look at all the separate bits and then you step back. In you're mind you now see how it all fits together.

You look at the cracks in the window, and as the light hits them you see color, like a rainbow. It glows. It is beautiful.